so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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