my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize