Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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