But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is wine microwaveable?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
