I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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