Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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