His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
