So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
