Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
