Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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