so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
