yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
