Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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