just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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