ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
