I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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