She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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