The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
