you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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