Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
