i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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