I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize