She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
