We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
