what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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