covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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