Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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