Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
