Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
