you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Semen is not good for contacts.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
