Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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