so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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