That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
