Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
