i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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