yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
grandma shit on top of the toilet
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Holy shit dude........stairs
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
