you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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