You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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