Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
