I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
