doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
