maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Of course I have a pirate flag
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize