I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
