I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
