First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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