I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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