North Korea, Best Korea!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
