Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
