C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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