To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
