i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
