I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
