Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize