$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
