You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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