No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
